Discover The Mirror Law To Be Happy
Perhaps it is not others who disappoint us, but our own expectations. We have to learn to put ourselves in the place of the other
The law of the mirror says that what we see in others is actually a reflection of what we have inside. Therefore, if we want to be happy, we must detail how we see others and do a self-evaluation.
To be happy, we first have to learn first that our happiness does not depend on others, but on ourselves. This means that we cannot wait for others to bring us joy and happiness, but rather cultivate it ourselves, within ourselves, in order to enjoy it.
The mirror law not only helps us understand this, but it can also help us manage problems with various people (family, friends, co-workers, etc.). How? From some exercises that we can easily practice.
The things that bother us about others
There are things that always bother us. For example, the fact that our sister-in-law always tells us the same thing at family meals, the fact that children do not always choose to be honest, that we are not valued at work, etc.
We always expect others to act in a certain way, but in many cases we feel disappointed. However, are we aware that perhaps we are also letting them down in other things?
As a first exercise, we propose to make a list of the things that bother us about the people around us.
Our things that bother others
But now we are going to do it the other way around. We will make another list putting things that may annoy or have annoyed those people. To do so, we must be honest and self-critical with ourselves.
We are not perfect, we are human, and we know that we have been wrong many times. That is why it is important to learn to be empathetic, that is, to put ourselves in the place of the other.
The law of the mirror and happiness
The law of the mirror teaches us that, if we feel something negative towards someone, the cause is in our heart, and not in the other person. For example, if we feel offended by something that we have been told, it is because we are offending someone. Maybe not to that person but to someone else.
If we learn to realize it, and above all to avoid it, we will possibly stop feeling offended ourselves. It’s funny how we don’t all react the same to the same situation, because we don’t all have the same thing in our hearts.
A practical exercise to better understand the law of the mirror
We are going to choose a person from whom we cannot bear something for which we feel hurt. We will make a list of things we would like to thank you for. In some cases, this can surprise us a lot and even annoy us, we will have to make a great effort, but it will be worth it.
Surely he has ever done something for us or for a family member of ours, has helped us with something, etc. We will dedicate the time that is necessary.
Next, even more difficult, we will make a list stating things for which we would like to ask your forgiveness. Perhaps we have looked at her the wrong way, we have disrespected her or we have forgotten to thank her for something. So far it will be a true exercise in humility. But the third and final step is only for the bravest people.
We will contact that person (in person, by phone or by letter). So, we will thank you for everything on the list, and we will apologize for the rest.
This exercise may seem crazy, since many people are too proud to do it. Or, they think it should be the other way around, that they should be thanked and forgive.
But the result is usually surprising. Those people who would never expect such a message tend to react in a very positive and emotional way.
When, how, with whom …?
We can do this exercise whenever we want and with whom we need. It is a practical exercise that almost always works to be happy. And so simple, although not easy, that it is worth a try. Especially with the people we love the most, or in situations that hurt us and we want to overcome.
