Faults That Parents Make When Their Children Disobey

There are mistakes that parents often make because they are not perfect beings. But it is important that they learn from their mistakes to give a good education.

Educating the little ones, sometimes, is not an easy task. Therefore, it is not uncommon to come face to face with certain mistakes that parents make when their children disobey.

Responsibilities and stress cause parents to despair and lose patience when encountering unruly children, who do not adhere to the rules and who constantly contradict themselves.

However, it is necessary to breathe to avoid falling into these mistakes that parents make and that can throw away what children have been taught so far.

Mistakes parents make

Sometimes, one forgets that parents are also people who make mistakes and that, therefore, they are not perfect beings. In this sense, the parents also have some faults that must be taken into account so that they are not repeated.

Here are some of them so that you can have them under control; which are collected in an article developed at the University of Oviedo. Take note!

1. I’m in charge here!

The main problem with a tantrum, a bad answer or disobeying a certain order is that parents consider that the little ones are violating their authority.

However, the fact that children are contrary does not mean that they are challenging their parents. They may just have forgotten what they told you or misunderstand.

Adults see certain things clearly, but we must not forget that they are children. So, instead of understanding this as an attack on authority, it is important to sit down and talk with the little ones to verify that they understand what is being said.

This is another of the mistakes parents make: they want their children to comply with the rules, but at no time do they take time to check that they are well understood and make sense for children.

Discover: 10 characteristics of toxic parents

2. Get up to speed

One of the mistakes that parents most assiduously make is to get angry or fight back at the lack of disobedience of their children. With this behavior, they are not only failing to display their authority, they are losing it.

• This attitude generates in the smallest feelings of rage, frustration and anger at the fact of feeling attacked instead of understood.
• If parents want to educate their children, this is not the best way; for they will not understand the message the way they are sending it.
• In addition, the child will become stressed and the discussion will create a climate of anxiety that will not be beneficial.

3. Rules are options, one of the mistakes parents make

Imagine there is a child in the supermarket whose parent has told him that today is not candy day. The child wants them now, so he throws a tantrum, throws himself on the floor in the middle of the supermarket and starts yelling: I WANT BUBBLES!

Faced with the bad time that passes and the shame, the parent gives in. It is then when the child understands that the rules can be broken using certain manipulation techniques that they submit to their parents.

If a parent gives in, even for one day, education is being lost. The rules must be followed yes or yes. Otherwise, the child will know that any rule can be broken.

4. Close your eyes to the obvious

How many times has this happened! Faced with what you don’t want to see because you don’t like it, you turn around as if nothing had happened.

However, it has. If a child disobeys and is not attracted to them, they will not understand the fact that you do get upset in similar situations later. This is incoherent, and with this attitude you only transmit to the child an interest and a disinterest that alternate depending on the day and the moment.

The feeling that the son will have before this is that you are not interested in what he does or does not do. This can cause low self-esteem problems that will be enhanced in the near future.

5. I can do it because I am your father!

Without a doubt, this is the worst of the mistakes parents make: being inconsistent with the rules they impose on their children. For example, if a parent tells their child not to put his feet on the table, but then he does; the child will not understand and, perhaps, choose to rebel.

When there is a rule at home, each member of the family must comply with it. Not only to set an example, but to be consistent with what is being asked.

It is not possible to request that a thing be done if the family in general does not do it. That authority that you think you have when you say “Because I said so!” or “Because I’m in charge here!” it is absurd and illogical.

The mistakes parents make because they are human and they are also wrong

Parents, as responsible adults, have to set standards for their children. However, it is in your hands whether these are met or not.

As the specialist Francesc Miralles indicates: there are no perfect parents. But, attending to these failures, being critical of oneself and solving them will be an important and enriching step for the family well-being.