Happy People Don’t Speak Ill Of Others

There are few things in life as exhausting as listening to a person criticize at all hours. In addition to making us live in a well full of negative behaviors, spending time with these types of people ends up making us feel very bad.

Ultimately, the words and attitudes of a meticon wear us down in such a way that they leave our minds devastated. When we find ourselves in these situations, we have two options: to walk away or to try to help them. Negative emotions, according to this study carried out by the Miguel Hernández University of Elche, can even make us feel physical discomfort, not just psychological.

As the famous phrase of Mother Teresa of Calcutta illustrates, “Whoever spends his time improving himself does not have time to criticize others. ” There is no more accurate indication of emotional and vital poverty than the fact that a person dedicates his time and effort to criticize others.

If we are around a critical person, we have to be very aware of their ability to intoxicate our emotions. They can totally throw us off balance in a simple way.

In this sense, living in peace is priceless, so we must always protect our physical and psychological space. You have to create a non-constructive anti-critical armor, because let’s say that words only hurt when you care who says them, what they say and how they say it.

What other people think of you is their reality, not yours

There are people who, maliciously or without any criteria, give their opinion on any circumstance even if no one has asked. The aim of these masked criticisms is to hurt, belittle and enjoy the concern of others.

People who do this often have such low self-esteem that they cannot accept themselves or others. This explains their ease with judgment and labeling, which only reflects the reality of how they feel and their ability to project their own emotional difficulties.

According to this research study carried out by the University of Costa Rica, self-esteem is a fundamental part of our well-being. Do not allow yours to destroy those who already have their own wounded.

Although we think we do it normally, no one is capable of decoding the feelings of others. We find it difficult to understand ourselves to know what others live, feel, learn or suffer.

That is why  we should not give importance to what others say about us.  His words obey an illusory reality that his mind has created with the desire to know everything.

Make yourself strong in the face of people’s criticism

If you attend to criticism frequently, you are endangering your well-being and your emotional balance. On the contrary, it is better that you spend your time improving yourself and your environment.

It is not up to you to point out or be pointed out, but to worry about correcting your mistakes until you reach the highest level of emotional well-being. If we surpass ourselves in the personal order, we will gain sincerity, respect, humility, generosity and honesty.

We cannot pretend to be perfect, but it is important that we maintain an attitude of constant improvement that offers us the possibility of living our lives without submission, without blackmail and without emotional dependencies. In fact, emotional dependence in a couple is one of the great problems that exist in current couple relationships, as stated in this study carried out by the University of Oviedo (Spain).

Heal our damaged part

To heal the emotional wounds that criticism causes us, we must be clear, first of all, that we are unique and exceptional people. According to this, the next thing we have to do is lose the fear of feeling and thinking for ourselves.

It is others who are judging and criticizing, not you. Non-constructive criticism carries with it great emotional poverty in the internal world of the person who makes it. Therefore, if the person does not allow himself to be enriched, on these occasions it is convenient for you to be emotionally selfish and “let each stick hold its candle . “

But how can we deal with the emotional damage that criticism causes us? Let’s stop and think about it …

• The direct consequence of giving credence to what others think and say about us is that we end up becoming someone we are not. Wanting to please others at the cost of losing our identity is not healthy at all.
• You are a good mother? Do you consider yourself a successful person? You’re smart? Are you doing your job well? Do others like you? Realize all the energy you waste worrying about what others think of you.
• Although we tend to feel like the center of people’s gazes, in reality what we do or don’t do is usually not relevant to them. In other words, others think of us much less than we think.

Ultimately, no matter what you do or how you do it, there will always be people who misunderstand it. Try to live and act as you see fit. Be natural and realize that the only way to tune in to yourself is to do what you feel at all times.

Illustrations courtesy of bruniewska and Chichi Huang