To Those Who Are Gone, To Those Who Sleep In Our Hearts

We carry those who are no longer with us in our hearts, in that corner where the eternal sleeps, there where our most precious assets reside.

Assuming the loss of a person, his death, is something that is not easy for anyone  and that, in addition, is going to force us to have to deploy a series of strategies for which nobody has prepared us.

Learn to say goodbye to those who are gone

How to say goodbye to someone who was by our side a moment ago? Death does not understand reasons or even less times.

Sometimes it takes people who had not yet met their “life quota” , young people who still had hundreds of experiences to go through and who, nevertheless, have left our side, leaving us their emptiness.

Death should allow us a farewell. It would have to be like a train station, where we offer a goodbye to our loved ones, give a long and intense hug, say those words that always linger in the air  and that, at times, become real regrets.

Now, since this is how life builds its path, we have to adapt to it and understand, first of all, that we are not eternal, that everything that surrounds us is just a short walk. Hence the need to live each day to the fullest.

We must get him to tuck us in every night, without having pending accounts, without forgetting an “I love you”, without being forced by anger to rest on the pillow with resentment.

Make the most of every moment with yours to the fullest, promote happiness in each of your daily breaths.

Having clarified this essential aspect, let us now see what guidelines we must follow to face the loss of a loved one and “overcome” those who are no longer there.

Live the duel

We are sure that you have already heard of grief, of that emotional process that follows any type of loss, be it a separation from a couple or, in this case, the death of a loved one.

It is vital that we take into account the fact that coping with a loss requires managing multiple emotions.

Those people who decide to “plunge” instantly into the normality of their routines, without recognizing the pain, may end up suffering a problem tomorrow. Now let’s see what phases the duel has:

1. Denial

How to accept that my partner is gone? How can I assume that I will no longer see my mother, my sister, that friend of my soul? It is very complicated, and this first phase is based on the emotional impact of the loss, which we do not quite believe.

2. Anger, anger or even indifference

We must bear in mind that not all of us react the same. There are those who will be indignant and full of rage, angry with themselves, with others and with providence. However, there are those who are silent, who are unable to cry or avoid “talking about it”.

3. Negotiation

In this phase we are assuming certain things. That accident, that disease … It has happened and it is useless to be angry with the world. Now, we agree to talk to other people, we see how the days go by and, indeed, that person is no longer with us.

4. Pain

Here the pain appears in all its rawness and, as such, we have to express it, live it, cry and vent whatever we need. Do not allow anyone to tell you that “do not cry”, because you need it and emotions must be channeled.

5. Acceptance

Believe it or not, acceptance comes. We end up assuming the loss and the emptiness and, although we know that life will never be the same, it must continue with its cycle and we will continue on our way without forgetting.

Because our loved ones remain in our memory, and, without a doubt, they will be happy to know that we open our eyes to the world again and allow ourselves the opportunity to be happy. Yes, it is possible to overcome those who are no longer there.

Keys to staying strong and keeping good memories

Keep in mind that, if the grieving process lasts for more than 6 months, and we are still dominated by a state of sadness in which we have lost our autonomy on a day-to-day basis, we should ask for professional help. It is important.

Day to day, as well as routines, family and friends, will be your best support.

Little by little it will hurt a little less, and you shouldn’t feel guilty about it at all. Because the memory of that person will always live with you. It is part of you, your essence, your being and each of your breaths.

Nothing happens if you smile again, because he or she will be in each of your smiles, rejoicing for you to recover a little of your joy. Do not get obsessed with those last days, the memory of the illness, the accident, that moment when it left your hand.

Every day you should make an effort to evoke the good times, the affection received, the kind and sincere words … Focus on positive emotions to be able to overcome and remember with love those who are no longer there.

Life is a journey where every moment counts. What you have experienced in the past marks who you are now, so that person is one more piece of your vital essence.

You carry it with you, and you always will. Live again fully and with hope because all that love lived also marks who you are now.