Whoever Swallows A Lot, In The End Drowns: The Danger Of Silencing Feelings

“Whoever swallows a lot in the end drowns . ” You may have heard this expression before, but, like most of these old phrases, it contains universal truths that we should learn from. In this sense, for a couple of decades authors such as Finkenauer and Rimé have pointed out that silencing feelings has effects on our health and well-being.

How many things do you keep quiet in your day to day? How many feelings and thoughts do you keep inside trying not to hurt or offend those close to you? In the end, you may be hurting yourself.

We explain why.

The danger of silencing feelings

1. Who is silent grants, but everything has a limit

Silence is wise, we have no doubt about that, and it is always very appropriate that in the face of foolish words, an inappropriate comment or an inappropriate expression, we always choose to close our mouths and act like that with more intelligence than someone else. speak without thinking.

Now, we must know how to maintain a balance between keeping silent and defending our needs:

• Silencing feelings or thoughts means that whoever is in front of us never knows that they are hurting us, or that they are exceeding their limits. No one is a fortune teller, so if we don’t say out loud what we think is wrong or that offends us, other people will not know.
• There are wise silences and wise words. Knowing when to shut up and when to speak is possibly the most appropriate skill that we can learn to develop. It is not at all about being always silent or saying everything that we have in mind, without leaving anything in the pipeline.

Extremes are never good. Keep your balance, but always remember that silencing feelings is also hurting ourselves.

With this you allow others to violate your personal space, to cross the limits and to speak for you when you are silent, to choose for you when you are silent. In the end, you will be little more than a puppet guided by alien strings.

2. Quiet words are emotions that are not shared

It won’t surprise you to learn that the mind and body are intimately related and connected. So much so, that a part of the population suffers or has suffered in their life some psychosomatic illness.

Nervousness, for example, alters our digestion, causes diarrhea or the classic headache. Many cold sores are caused by processes of high stress, nerves and fever. In the same way, keeping silent about what we feel and what we think every day  generates great anxiety in our body.

Think of all those words that you don’t want to say to your parents or your friends so as not to hurt them. They do things for you thinking that they help you, when in reality they do not and make you feel bad.

Why don’t you dare to tell the truth? Let’s also think about our partners, whom we do not want to offend, although  there are times when they act in a way that hurts you. And yet you choose to silence the feelings.

All of this will sooner or later translate into psychosomatic illnesses, migraines, high blood pressure or chronic fatigue.

3. Putting your words out loud: the key to emotional relief

You should not be afraid to hear your voice, and even less so that others do as well. It is something as necessary as breathing, eating or sleeping. Emotional communication is necessary in our day to day to establish healthier relationships with others and, of course, with ourselves.

We give you some basic keys to achieve it:

• Think that everything has a limit. If we do not say everything we think and feel, we will not be acting with dignity, we will lose our self-esteem and control of our life. First of all, be aware that saying what you think and need is a right.

• Saying what you think is not hurting anyone. It is defending yourself and, in turn, informing others of a reality that they must know.
• Do not be obsessed with wondering how others will react, do not be afraid. Now, if you are very concerned about what may happen, you can prepare for possible reactions.

Think that saying out loud what we feel and think is, in reality,  the best way of emotional liberation that exists. Practice it wisely, take care of yourself.